Talking about cancer

    What do you say when a friend or family member gives you the news that they were diagnosed with cancer?  Is it ok to ask questions about the disease or diagnosis? Will it hurt if I hug you?  Or, do you get half way into a story about someone who had cancer only to realize that you wish you hadn't started down this road since the subject of your story didn't survive. The truth is that most of us are completely uncomfortable talking about cancer.  When Joy was diagnosed, we put out the word selectively and were blessed to have a couple of friends that have had a similar diagnosis and have beaten it.
Statistically, the chances for survival beyond 5 years with Joy's diagnosis is somewhere over 80%.  I felt real good about that until I remembered that that they told us the lump in her breast had an 80% chance of being benign.  So, the 80% survival rate doesn't comfort as much as you'd think since we're already in the 20% that ended up with cancer.  You get what I'm saying?  Good news is sometimes what you make it.

    Some of the best advice we received was from one of the ladies that had been through this process. She told us to use the word cancer as much as possible. Talk about it. Encourage your family and friends to talk about it.  That makes perfect sense when you realize that cancer is a scary word and anything we're afraid of gains more power over your emotions and thoughts.  Joy and I are learning to verbalize whatever we're feeling at the time and it does wonders in keeping the mind monkeys from terrorizing your thoughts and dreams. From the stories of those that have already traveled this journey, I'm beginning to see the next few months as a season where it will be cold, clinical, and full of small and large storms.

    This picture of the maple tree in our front yard made me think of where we are in our journey.  There is plenty of warmth and beauty all around us but the season is changing. The important thing to remember is that all seasons run their course and that we will emerge from the darkness and cold at some point and begin to create a new normal for our future.


   I don't want to be too technical but we both want this blog to get out information about Joy's cancer.  The current diagnosis is that her cancer is called invasive ductal carcinoma. That is the most common breast cancer. It is stage II, hormone sensitive, and I forget the rest.  The tumor is on the lower, inside of her left breast which is a little unusual as most are on the outside toward the armpit.  The stage is determined by the size of the tumor. We do not know about lymph node involvement or if there is anything metastasised anywhere else. For the time being, our diagnosis is pretty much the best bad news you can get.  They also found 5 suspicious spots in the right breast and Joy has endured 3 or 4 mammograms and sonograms on that breast trying to locate the lumps so they can be biopsied.  They tell us that they think they are nothing to worry about and that they are "probably" not cancer. Not sure where "probably not" fits in that 80% thing.  Obviously, we want to know about the right breast before deciding what to do regarding a lumpectomy or full mastectomy of the left breast or whether we need to consider removing both breasts.  These are not easy decisions and I find I'm mostly as spectator and there for support.  Statistically, the recurrence percentage is almost the same for lumpectomy or mastectomy.  The lumpectomy requires less healing time for the surgery but requires 6 weeks of daily radiation treatments. Then there needs to be 1 to 2 years of tissue healing before the breast can be reconstructed. The mastectomy requires a longer healing period but she may not need the radiation or chemo if they find no other bad tissue when removing the tumor.  So, that's where we are. We're trying to decide which surgery gives us the best results and it isn't an easy decision.  We meet with the medical and radiation oncologists this week so we will hopefully be able to fill in more of the blanks.

2013- Already a year to remember

From the beginning, this year has been one for the record books.  Last year there was no snow and very little cold weather. I didn't have to scape ice off my windsheild one time. The law of averages caught up with us this year.  54" in a 3 week span.

We shovelled, survived, and began to wonder why we live in Kansas?  10 below in the winter and weeks well over 100 in the summer. Add our complete lack of scenery and you get an idea why we're asking that question. 

Spring finally arrived but brought a terrifying phone call from our oldest daughter's husband.  His quick message was the sort of things that bring any parent to their knees.  They were travelling in Texas and had a head-on collision at highway speeds. He told us that all were alive but please pray. He hung up quickly and we had no idea about injuries to Mandy, Marcus, or their 3 little ones.

Thankfully, there were no significant injuries to our family and, while the other driver suffered a broken leg,  all involved survived. God is good.

May brought another family milestone as we gave our youngest daughter in marriage. Brooke was absolutely radiant as she became Mrs. Thomas Sunderland.

We don't have all the photos back yet and I will blog more about this event later. It was a wonderful day and I felt like a King giving away a princess.


Shortly after the wedding, Joy and I began to discuss selling our business. There was an interested buyer and we wanted to begin the transition toward selling everything here and moving closer to our kids.

We opened this shop in 2002 and have enjoyed thousands of customers and the satisfaction of building a dream and hanging on for the wild ride that is part of any new startup business. It's been a great run but after 40+ years of dealing with folks in an insurance claims and retail setting, I'm longing to discover a new dream.

All was good and then Joy found the tumor in her left breast. This type of thing only happens to someone else but we found ourselves forced down a road where there are often more questions than answers. All sorts of thought jump to the forefront of your mind when the doctor confirms what you feared. Suddenly, selling the business and thoughts of travel were gone and a new giant stood before us.

Here's my sweetie on the Oregon coast last summer. Always smiling, kind, and living life positively. I know. We're proof that opposites do attract. She's everything I wish I could be and more. So, as we began this detour from the path of life that we'd carefully crafted, we do so with the knowledge that she can beat this and that attitude matters. All we have to do is keep moving forward and trusting God for the rest. We'll figure it out.

All in for the journey

   So, why does anyone blog anyway?  I mean,  who reads these things?  What kind of person stumbles onto a blog post and then hangs around to follow lives and stories told in fragments?  I guess that would be me.  I follow the blogs of a few friends and love to keep up with the dreams and drama of their everyday lives.  The other blogs I follow are folks I don't know but something in their writing style or the transparency of their posts draws me in and keeps me checking back eager to see their next post.  For me, it's all about authenticity.  I love people that are real and live their lives in the face of the slings and arrows of criticism. They get knocked down only to rise up and risk failure again just to be heard or seen.

   Why the name Alphabet Soup?  Well, my last name is Campbell so any tie in to soup made sense but there was a bigger reason.  Alphabet soup is a good illustration of how I see life.  Remember that soup as a kid and how you would try to spell a word with each spoonful of letters?  That's just like life to me. There are days where the words come easy and life is full of purpose and promise. There are also days where words fail and our struggle to connect and communicate leaves us empty and alone.  Now, I have no grand illusions about this blog.  Writing has always had a calming effect on me.  This blog will be nothing more than me thinking out loud. It helps me think and gets me out of my comfort zone.  It will be personal and often raw but it will be real.  In the coming posts I'll be sharing lots about my wife, Joy, and our new struggle with her breast cancer.  It will also serve as a place for friends and family to keep track of her journey without the awkwardness of asking us questions and not knowing how to respond to the answers.  Hopefully, there will be lots of humor here as well.  I'll add pictures and dress up the blog as soon as I figure out how to accomplish that. It took me all day just to figure out how to create this and to get this first attempt out there.  See you soon.